Useless
by ForDaLoveOfCuntBoi
Summary: Vicious spends the last moments of his life thinking about how everything got to this. Deathfic


Poor Vicious Sama let me love you, people will hate me for this I'm sure

* * *

It was one of those days, they were all too common, though, sitting at the dining table in his small apartment, alone on a rainy night, a single wine bottle next to him with a half empty glass, he didn't feel like drinking despite that this would be a good time to, just to rid the thoughts of this action. That was the point though; he wanted to keep these thoughts with him.

Next to the wine bottle was an unused gun, haven't been used in years due to Vicious preference for a sword instead of a gun, it was loaded.

Vicious felt the reason was gone, the reason to keep back the tears, vicious let the tears fall on the table, thinking why should he? No one would miss him, Spike wouldn't, Julia wouldn't, no one would, maybe the damn bird that was in its cage that watched him in this miserable state would, but would that be enough? Either way, everything will end for him, friendship, god forbid love, Vicious grimaced to the thought, and life, he always felt it, a small piece of his sanity break away, everything break away like he was gonna fall apart like a broken vase. Why did all of this have to happen? He was only doing his job by killing those people; he didn't want this life, alone, insane, suicidal, not again, Spike was that break, his barrier, without him he felt dead inside. His heart ached, he didn't Spike to hate him. Every time he fought Spike he felt something… something that made him want to die. And that's why he is here, Vicious just stopped caring, he didn't know where Spike was, nor did he care, well, maybe he just wanted Spike to find him, dead, a rotting corpse, or at least know of his death. Hoping that Spike would feel something that he was dead, and not happiness, he wanted Spike to die with him, not to long after.

Julia was the cause, and Vicious just _hoped _she was dying in a ditch in a puddle of her own blood with a giant gaping hole where that bitch's heart should be.

If he didn't screw up with Gren, maybe he would be happy, but Gren was dead, like he would be, maybe he would see him again in the afterlife, but probably not, he killed Gren, he probably hates him, only this time Vicous didn't want Gren to hate him. Gren was nothing like him, Gren didn't betray him, Vicious betrayed himself along with him.

Vicious basicly summed it all up, it was all his fault, if he didn't meet Julia, this wouldn't have happened, he would still meet Gren on Titan and Spike would still be his, or if Spike wasn't being a man whore and didn't fall for her. Maybe this was a mix of both his and Spike's fault, Vicious sighed, does it really matter now? Spike hates him and wants him dead more than anything.

Vicious let more tears fall from his eyes, another sob, muttering meaningless apologizes, he wanted Spike back, he wanted Gren, he just wanted to be happy, the way things where, with a new addition, his Gren. But that's not gonna happen, and it's to late to try, Vicious tried to many times, he failed, he got tierd, it was meaningless to try again and again when it just dragged him to more sadness.

His slender fingers wrapped around the gun next to the glass of wine and dragging it off the table, letting his hand hang off the table with his grip on the gun still enough to keep it in his hand, Vicious let out a choked sob, more tears falling from his eyes. He slowly picking up the gun and placing it against his head, he gulped, already hearing it go off and splattering his brain against the nearby wall and on the floor, his dead body dropping onto the floor, a gaping hole in his head with left over brain matter and blood leaking out of the floor, tears mixing in it and the bird for some odd reason eating it because it had nothing else to eat.

Hey, it was just a thought from Vicious' death filled mind.

Vicious gulped, a trembling sigh escaped his lips as his finger caressed the trigger, gulping one more, his heart was racing, thoughts raced through his minds as the finger slowly pushed down on the trigger, Vicious squeezed his eyes shut. Vicious gulped, facing the ceiling and letting more tears drop from his face.

'Come on!' He thought angrily as he bared his teeth, 'Blow my fucking brains out, you son of a bitch! End my worthless life!'

His last thoughts echoed throughout his mind before silence by a loud explosion through the barrel, sending his body to the floor and the contents of his head splattered against the wall, a messy end to his sad life.

The bird squawked a bit too late for Vicious.


End file.
